I am a bright, ambitious young executive, born and raised in Boston. I met my wife in college, and we married the day after graduation. We were both honor students at Harvard. We have no children, but are very close to our parents and siblings.

As part of an expansion program, the board of directors at my company decided to build a new plant. I was appointed chairperson of the committee that would determine the location, and given authority to make the final decision. Successfully completing this project will result in a vice-presidency for me.

My wife was delighted until the members of the committee reached a strong consensus that Kansas City was the best overall location for the plant. She said, "I am not moving to the hinterlands." She added it isn't the life we had planned, it is far from family, and the biggest attraction in Kansas City is the stockyards!

She knows this is a big chance for me, but she cannot give up everything she worked for at her company. The next morning when I met with my committee, I told them my decision was to build the plant at a nearby city.

Members of the committee looked at each other with obvious surprise. All but one left without further comment to me. The remaining member told me he absolutely did not agree with this decision, and suggested strongly I reconsider my choice before speaking to our CEO. What should I do?

Byron



Byron, reaching a business decision for personal reasons is something you could do as a CEO, confident of your position. That wouldn't make it any wiser, it would only make it possible.

Compromise isn't always a good thing. It often brings resentment and leads to poor decisions. In seeking a compromise which will work for all parties, you have already damaged your career. If you compromise your personal life, hurt feelings will supersede what might give you direction and bring the course of your life back into focus.

This is not a choice between your wife and your company. This is a quest to understand yourself. What do you most deeply want? When you have a sense of that, discuss all possible options with your wife. Your discussion must be absolutely honest.

The question here is the strength of your relationship to your wife. Which is the clearer vision? Do you see yourself more with your wife in the future, or with your expected promotion? What is the strength, power, and substance of your love for each other?

Wayne & Tamara