Help! What do we do? We have a 40-year-old son, married, children, lovely wife. He has stepped away from his parents. Why? He cannot explain it to his wife or family. We visit when he is at work and just go on with our lives.

We have always been a close family, there for each other no matter what. His wife will not get involved as she feels it is his baggage. His father spoke to her to let her know we are getting up in years. I am sure she has tried her best, but our son doesn't seem to care.

Dixie


Dixie, the first thing to be grateful for is that you are still in touch with your grandchildren and your daughter-in-law. She has done what she can and probably feels reluctant to align herself against her husband's wishes.

There are reasons for everything. Sometimes small resentments are nurtured until they result in extreme behavior. Sometimes a diagnosed mental illness is present. But we have to tell you that in our experience the origin of the problem is usually a family secret.

This secret could involve sexual or physical abuse, alcoholism, or the constant belittling of one child. You haven't provided any details, but if that is the case here, you should realize there can never be a resolution without shining a hard light on a very dark corner of his life and your family life.

Tamara