Well, I never thought it would happen, but I'm single again. And so are a lot of us out here. But let's not feel sorry for ourselves. After all, there's lots to look forward to. Some of my more organic married friends have told me , "You are now on an exciting new journey, with all the wonderment of where it will take you." I am?? Others have said "Boy, now you can do anything you want. You have so many wonderful new opportunities awaiting you!!". I do?? Some of my clueless friend have said "Wow, you lucky guy. Now you can get laid anytime you like!! I can??

As I teeter on the edge of political-incorrectness, I've got to say this. I had a lot more sex when I was married than I do now. And it wasn't so scary. And I knew what I was getting (and NOT getting in the wonderful world of AIDS and other punishments for being Single). If there are any married guys out there who think there's more out here' than when you're married, well, don't worry, you probably won't be married for long.

But I digress. Back to the matter at hand. The good stuff awaiting us. We go through our healing process as fast as we can. It shouldn't take too long. After all, we didn't lose that much. Aside from your spouse, probably a house, often lots of money, always many dreams, old friends, beloved pets, and in my case, a lot of hair. It ain't so bad. We should get over it quickly. And now we are there. We are ready. The future is ahead. And so (lucky us).... IT'S TIME TO DATE. That's right. This is one of the many new and exciting experiences our friends (and therapists) told us was ahead. WE GET TO DATE AGAIN (oh boy)!

We are now ready to DATE (health clubs, beauty parlors, hair clubs for men, tanning salons, and cosmetic stores - look out, there's lots of new business coming your way). It's time to play......THE DATING GAME! (Oh boy). After all, there are thousands and thousands of other loving and caring single people out there looking for us. This IS exciting! Gee, where do we start. Well, most of us start with the Personal ads' (did you think you were the only one). Have you noticed how many ads' have cropped up in the last 5 years? Lots and lots and lots!! (oh boy). CONFESSIONS OF A SINGLE MAN. Yes, this too, is where I started.

At the time of my very first call, I was living in Florida, home of the suntanned, shapely, bikini clad women (oh boy). I mean, I was so excited, I even had a drink (or two) before I called. With a sweaty palm I reached for the phone, excited about the new possibilities awaiting me, ready to hear the soothing voice of my next love. So, I called. And guess what! After being told by a taped recorded voice that "the charges begin AT THE TONE", I was given a menu of single women. Imagine, a whole menu. Wow, this is easier than ordering a Big Mac. So I chose the address' of my love-to-be and guess what!! I got another menu! Press 1' to hear from your chosen lady' or press 2' if you want "tips" on how to leave a successful message. Tips? Successful message?

Anyway, I pressed 1', and guess what !! I got voice mail. And what did she say? The same thing that was written in the personal ad. Hey fantastic, this is also for people who can't read. And guess what! After the recording was finished, I was asked to leave my own personal' message (oh boy). So, mustering up all the charm and intelligence I could, I said "I've never done this before, and I'm a little nervous, and I don't really know what to say, but my mother thinks I'm a hell of a guy", and hung up. Gee, I wonder if that made the "tips" menu. Anyway, I haven't heard from her yet, but I'm sure she's still just mulling it over. And the moral of this story: TIME REALLY FLIES AT $2.99 A MINUTE.

Any of this stuff ever happen to you?. Anyway, I've got to go now. I've got to make some calls