You know, I hate being politically incorrect, but it's time here for a certain 'word' to come out of the closet. While there may be certain words that should never be uttered aloud, there comes a time we must rise up & tackle a subject, no matter how distasteful it may be. George Carlin had his list of seven. Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy have assaulted us with many. But they didn't bother to touch this word.

Many of us single people have muttered this word in our lowest moments. A word so bad, that even the highest courts in this nation couldn't say it at the OJ hearings. It's a word that is guaranteed to clear the room, especially at a Parents-without-Partners meeting. It's made of four little letters, but makes other four letter words look tame by comparison. It is a word that, if you're single, is synonymous with death. Put the children to bed, make sure no one with a heart condition is anywhere in sight; close the doors and bar the windows. It is indeed, the dreaded 'N' word. And I speak it here.

NEED. Women are fainting, men are running to bars, therapists are booking appointments, it's out. NEED. There. I've said it. I feel purged. If you never want to have to pick up your underwear again, never want to share a bathroom again, never want to cook a meal for more than one again, just say the N' word, and I guarantee you won't have to worry about getting into a relationship. But wait a minute. In reality, it's not really the word NEED itself that gets you in trouble, as much as the context that you use it in.

Such as: It's OK at a party to say to the host, "Where's the bathroom? I NEED to go". However, it's NOT OK to say "I need a woman". That is very bad. It's OK to say to the waitress, "I'm famished. I NEED to eat". But look out, it's NOT OK to say "I need a man". After a long day, or at a social occasion, it's OK to say to the local bartender "I'm beat. I NEED a drink". It however is certainly NOT OK to say "I need someone to love". It's even OK to say to someone you dislike that "I NEED a raise". But at all costs, it's especially NOT OK to say "I need someone to love me". You are better off telling someone that you're with them only because the sex is good and they have a lot of money, rather than uttering one of these need' phrases. Hey, I think the truth here is, we all need a break.

In my business, I speak to a lot of Single people. And more than once I've been told by a woman (right after she has called my dating network), that 'I don't need a man'. One was very emphatic and stated outright "Larry, I am NOT NEEDY". And in my always sensitive manner I asked, "You're not NEEDY, but are you WANTY?". "Wanty?" she said. "What do you mean Wanty?". And so I replied "Are you Wanty? You don't NEED a man, but do you WANT a man?". (Boy, do I know how to impress women or what!).

And if you happen to have an outlawed conversation where you say the 'N' word enough, things eventually come around to the 'C' word. No, this does not refer to the male or female genitalia, but something much scarier. A word that can potentially put you in therapy for life. Put the children to bed, make sure no one with a heart condition is anywhere in sight; close the doors and bar the windows. It is a word that is synonymous with death if you're single. It is indeed the dreaded 'C' word.

CO-DEPENDENT. There. I've said it. I feel purged. While alphabetically juxtaposed, these two should occupy the same place in the modern Singles dictionary. Need. Co-dependent. No dates within a million miles.

Watch this. Hey Guys, I've got a great lady here. She's sexy, intelligent, talented, dynamic, loves sports on TV, beer, is a volunteer for the Peace Corp, lives off of investments, cries when she watches Beauty and the Beast', loves to vacuum, and thinks low-fat, high vegetable diets are for sissies. Sounds like a winner, eh? The only problem is she might be a little CO-DEPENDENT. She feels at times that she NEEDS a man. She realizes she NEEDS to love and be loved. Well, guys, what do you think? Are you there guys? Hello...hello....

Any of this stuff ever happen to you?? Let me know. Anyway, I NEED to go.