I've heard it said that for single people, the best way to meet (in my case) women, is in the casual pursuit of everyday things, such as shopping at the Supermarket. Now I don't know if this little rumor was dreamed up by the people at IGA or Shaws, but if it's true, it certainly puts a new slant on the idea of 'picking up a little something' at the store.

It's true, there's always an interesting assortment of women at the market. And there's always more women then men (although that might change now that the cat is out of the bag). I suspect this is because the coddled married males are at home, lounging on the couch watching the game, while their nurturing, overworked wives have to drudge to the market.

However, luckily for you single ladies, the local supermarket provides a veritable smorgasbord of co-operative, sensitive, single males, who have no one to shop for them. And we single guys are now eager to help with the shopping, and split all of life's other responsibilities 50/50. That is, until you get in a relationship with one of us. And just where are all the great single guys? You can find us in the isle with the Lipton's 'Cup-of-Soup for One'.

The supermarket is a natural place for each to find their own. Vegetarians on the right, meat eaters by the coolers, junk food and candy addicts have their own isle, heavy beer drinkers, health food freaks, wacko pet owners (who buy tiny cans of smelly gourmet cat food which is more expensive than whole white tuna), or whomever... we're all there. There are even those of us interested in higher education, who purposely look for the longest check out lines, just so we can read a little National Enquirer or Star. And there's even a special place for some real dinosaurs, those few people who actually believe that Wonderbread builds strong bodies 12 ways.

Hey, here's a thought. Maybe there should be some supermarkets FOR SINGLES ONLY! Think of it. This could be great. I mean, there's always music, but no cover charge. You don't eat dinner out together anymore, you shop for dinner together. And guys, it's Dutch. The girls pay for their own food. And ladies, what is more telling about a guy than what he puts in his shopping cart! And the great thing is, you can often see what a potential partner looks like in sweats. And the kids are there too! Why, the whole family dynamic is on display. This keeps getting better. And there are no phoneys here. There's no makeup, dress-up, shaved faces or combed hair to be found, and all this under some of the brightest lighting short of Yankee stadium.

OK. We're there. Let's have some rules and tips. First for the guys. Guys: don't shop for yourself, but rather volunteer to shop for your most organic friend. Avoid large quantities of beer, coke, hot dogs and baked beans. These are bad conversation foods. Buy oriental stuff, high fiber foods, and one thing that says imitation' on it. These are good conversation foods. By the way, does anyone know what 'pasteurized, processed, imitation, cheese food substitute' really is?

Ok guys, more tips. Avoid red meat. Sensitive guys eat chicken. Avoid sugar products. Having so much testosterone is bad enough, without adding any sugar. Look confused. Women know it's outside our capacity to shop or eat properly, so play the part. Maybe some nice lady will save us from our own dumb selves (if we're lucky). No fresh tomato jokes. No melon jokes. No meat jokes. No fish jokes. Just look confused.

For the gals, there's less to learn. Remember, while hunting for food is instinctual for the male of the species, it is still a demanding process, so be gentle. Your tips: If its got to be sweats, please avoid the same top/bottom color (these look like sleepy pajamas). Now, if you need to reach way, way up, for something high on a shelf, ask one of us for help. Look shy. Pretend you're the helpless one (it's good for our egos). Smile. Give us a sign. We'll take it from there (if we're not too confused). Just remember, we spoil easily, so take us home quickly.

Anything like this ever happen to you? Well, I gotta go now, I'm out of beans and franks.