There are so many uncomfortable moments in dating in the 90's, it's hard to pick my favorite. One favorite is when one person decides to be daring, and makes the first 'I kinda like you' overture. For me, who is losing my hair rapidly, I've had women subtly break the ice by saying 'I think balding guys are distinguished'. Wow, cool! But me, I'm a little more subdued. I say something chatty like 'would you consider having my child?'. But I think one constant in the dating formula, especially on a really nice first date, is the good night "do we shake hands, do we hug, can we kiss, or what's gonna happen now" dilemma.

As a matter of fact, the better the time you have together, the more pressure builds as the end of the evening approaches. One female friend of mine told me she met a real jerk because after their 3rd date (at good night time), he kissed her and put his tongue in her month (how un-hygienic). Now I'm confused. If I have 3 nice dates with someone, germs be dammed! I'm ready for a little 'French' goodnight. Am I a perv? Is this too fast? Hey, I don't get kissed that much. I kind of miss it. I kiss my daughter Jessica a lot, but it's not quite the same as kissing a woman my own age.

Now ladies, I'm very serious. Please help me know if I should be institutionalized. At great cost, phone lines have been set up. I want to hear from all of you. If you think after one really good date it's OK to kiss with a just little bit of tongue, call 555-HORNY. If it's OK after 2 good dates, call 555-EASY. After 3 dates, 555-ABOUTTIME. After 4 dates, call 555-RELIEVED. Not yet? After 5 dates, call 555-AGINGRAPIDLY, after 6 dates, call 555-JUSTFRIENDS, after 7 dates, call 555-AVIRGIN, and after more than 7 good dates, if you think it's still inappropriate, call 555-IMANUN, extension YOURGETTINGNONE..

Well, how about an innocent hug? When I was married, and we had another couple over for the evening, we would hug each other freely. With good friends, we would often hug good and hard. After all, married couples who were faithful to their mates, didn't get to experience other peoples bodies, and these friendly hugs could be rather enjoyable. I mean, we're married, but we're not dead. There was no threat here. Everyone felt safe, and we could all enjoy some simple, human, physical contact.

But with singles, it's not so simple. Sometimes hugs don't feel so innocent. Just how 'close' is politically correct for the first hug? Is there an agreed upon amount of air space that should separate bodies? I personally hate to have to lean over to hug someone; it's bad for my back. Then there's the ever humiliating, fatherly hug', when she leans over, hugs you from one foot away, and gives you a few reassuring pats on the back. Why are we so hung up a little hug? We all need to be hugged, and after all, we have been slow dancing all night, so what's the big deal with a hug?

Let's be honest. If you have a 'close' hug, (depending on height and weight), there are body parts that are touching. There will be body parts of hers that come in contact with his. And those body parts have parts that sometimes have a mind of their own, especially on cold nights. This could be even scarier for her than the tongue. And ladies, let's face it, if it was a real good date, he has body parts with a mind of their own that you might become aware of in a hug. I mean, it's not intentional, but hey, it happens. Who's more embarrassed here, you or he, because we men certainly can't blame it on the cold. Where's Leo Buscalia when you need him.

Have you watched that TV show about single people called FRIENDS'? You know, that realistic story of 3 single guys who live across the hall from 3 gorgeous, sexy single women, but they're only just FRIENDS. One evening, on an episode of FRIENDS, the ditsy blonde was recounting her date of the previous evening. "I was slow dancing with Michael last night, and I got the feeling that he really likes me" says the blonde. "Oh. Did you feel that in your heart?" asks the intelligent brunette. "No" she replies, "I felt that on my hip!". Hey, don't write! This is family hour TV here, not me!

Any of this stuff ever happen to you? Sign off time. It's Jessica's bedtime and I'm getting a hug tonight.