I have found that dating is a little like the political process because very often it's impossible to get a straight answer. There's a lot more that's not said than is said. Even though a lot of the time both parties (male and female, not Democrat and Republican) know exactly what's going on, you would never know this from what we say.

The other evening, I met a nice woman at one of my dances. As usual, I was more interested in talking and getting to know her, but she just wanted to dance. Don't you gals know that the last thing a man wants to do at a dance is dance? Anyway, at the end of an enjoyable evening, I had decided I would like to see her again, and I thought she felt the same way. So I walked her to her car to say goodnight. I stuck out my lips, she stuck out her hand. Oh well. But then I did a really stupid thing. I actually asked her for her phone number.

Now, I already know that I have a better chance of Bill Clinton's social security number or Bill Gate's credit card number, than I do a ladies phone number when we have just met, so I don't know why I even asked. It's probably because I subconsciously know that this is a practical way of getting her to ask for my phone number instead, which she did. So I gave her my (New England Singles Connection) business card. Now giving her my business card is a calculated move. One, to give her the (erroneous) impression that I'm not hard up. Two, I do this so that when she throws my card away, there's a remote chance she will remembers my business's name, if she decides to get in touch with me in the future.

I just hope that she will have the courtesy to wait until she gets home to throw away my card, and doesn't throw it out the window of her car as she departs from the parking lot.

But guess what!! She called me ten days later. (What went into this monumental decision is yet another story). We chatted for a while, and finally she asked me if I wanted to meet her at the local music hall next Saturday evening. Cool! However, so I would not be confused about her intentions, she made sure she was very clear in her intentions by telling me that 'this is not a date'.

Sure. OK. This is not a date. Maybe it's a fig or a prune. Just a lonely single guy and lonely single gal who almost kissed in a parking lot, meeting by prearranged accident. Boy, I long for the good old days when women were clear about what they wanted, and it was the men that didn't have a clue. Now Ladies, don't get upset, I'm not trying to be insulting. I'm just confused.

I'm confused because, well, I really think you ladies are even more confused. I understand that now many of you are on your own and finally financially and emotionally independent. You know you can survive without men. You know that you don't need men. But I think you're realizing it just ain't as much fun without men. I think the women's liberation movement should have been about the feminization of men, but instead, it has turned out to be about the masculinization of women. Women are now in the work place, working hard, working late, and now have the same lame excuses men have always had of putting work before intimacy. I mean, I don't think hairy balls look particularly good on men, so I can't figure out why you women would want them. But I digress.......

Saturday night we had our it's not a date'. And, for a not a date', it went pretty well. Eventually, we got around to the topic of relationships and what we were looking for. I told her in my pathetic way, that I was interested in a long term relationship and hopefully marriage. "And you? What are you looking for?" says I. "Not marriage" she says. "Then what would you like?" I innocently ask. And to this she says, "I think I would like an intermittent relationship". Intermittent? Are we talking relationships here or windshield wipers? But later on we came to the core of the matter. She's really afraid of falling in love again. She doesn't want to get hurt again. And I think that's the real key here. No one want's to get hurt again. But what are you going to do?

To quote vintage 1839 Thoreau..."There is no remedy for love but to love more". And I, of course, wonder when I'll have my next it's-not-a-date'.

Any of this stuff ever happen to you?? I've got to go now. I've got a it's-not-a-date' tonight.