Some time ago, when I was a teenager and had hair, a favorite Saturday night pastime was what my friend Esposito called cruising for chicks'. This entailed jumping in his boat (1968 Pontiac Bonneville, 107,000 miles) and driving up and down our town's main drag, acting like idiots, and fantasizing that the young girls we saw on the street thought we were cool. Yes, we were cruising, but needless to say, we always ended up dry.

Now, as an adult (and still feeling like an idiot), I realize that this term cruising for chicks' has a whole new connotation. In the 90's, cruising for chics has now reversed the traditional roles. The chics are now mature women, they are not idiots, and they are on the pursuer end. And these boats for women are a lot bigger and nicer than our Bonneville.

Last week, a friend of mine, who is a lovely woman of my age, took a long awaited vacation with Carnival Cruise Lines. Now you got it; cruising for chics. For $1000 (a lot more than the Bonneville), single women can now hit the high seas for a week of wine, men and song. It's party time, adult style. And while there is shuffleboard galore, I don't really think that's the main attraction. I'm told by my friendly travel agent, that quite a few baby boom women are now cruising. There's tons of food, lot's to drink, sun, the high seas, (the aforementioned shuffleboard) and what else? Just what is it about the great deep that has women flocking to the big boats?

Without belittling shuffleboard, I think the attraction is the threat of romance. After all, what's the point of a romantic cruise to romantic St. Thomas without a little romance. After all, these gals are single and well past the age of consent. We guys have been cruising since we were teens, so it's about time the girls got some equality.

Ship Ahoy! Batten the hatches! We're heading out to sea. Captain Stubing, Isaac and Gopher look out, here come the ladies!

So my first advice to my friend Paula? Bring lot's of contraceptives. It's your big vacation and time to let your hair down. But you know when talking to women, if you spell romance... S...E...X..., well, you're going to get the get your mind out of the gutter...I'm not going to look for sex!!' rebuttal. Of course not. What was I thinking. She's packing all of her push-up bras, see-thru blouses and skirts with slits up to her armpit, simply to give her wardrobe a vacation I kind of like her friend's attitude better. Her gal-pal Debbie is going with her, but it's not for the food. Debbie is preparing because she knows these cruises don't happen everyday; they're a special event; and a good time for fantasy.

And is Debbie spending some money on clothes? Paula says she could buy controlling interest in Niemann Marcus for less. Is Debbie thinking of love? I think she is. And I think it's OK. For us single adults, and especially for women in mid-life, life can get a little lonely. Romance (spelled S.E.X.) is not a casual or frequent thing for most nice ladies. So have some fun, take a shot when you have it. You're on a cruise, and you need as much romance as possible (even if it is spelled S.E.X.). Even Captain Stubing approves. Hell, he sees it all the time.

You're far from home, on vacation, and nobody knows your name (sounds like a song). It might be a while before you have an opportunity as appropriate as this one. Actually, I'm jealous. It is romantic to meet an attractive stranger, to flirt, to see the sun set over the ocean, to have drinks served 24 hours a day. When in Rome, do as the Romans. So relax Paula. Have some fun. It's really OK.

So Paula, have you packed a lot of condoms?' I ask. Of course not!! That's not why I'm going!' she says. But don't worry' she adds with a wry smile. Debbie's bringing enough for both of us!'.

Any of this ever happen to you? I've got to go now. These's a hot bath and a rubber boat awaiting me.